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Оперативка у богов
- ...Так. Бог океана? - Я! - Ага, отметил. Богиня домашнего очага? - Здесь! - Хорошо. Богиня рек? - Я! - Ага. Бог обмана? - Нет его! - Не надоело еще? Отметил. Бог болезней? - Тут. - Отметил. Бог памяти?... Бог памяти? Нет? Передайте ему, что на следующий раз отговорка "забыл про божий час" не принимается. Тем более от него. Богиня охоты?...
- Так, ну вроде с перекличкой на сегодня покончено. Кстати, все собравшиеся помнят, что у бога плодородия через три дня день рождения? Кто еще не сдал две жертвы в фонд Престола? - А можно я поздравительную речь составлю? У меня с жертвами в этом году неважно. - Кто это? А, это ты, богиня красноречия... Я думал, опять бог обмана. - Кто, я? Чуть что, сразу я да я... - Чье бы священное животное мычало, твое бы молчало! - Не могу-с. Специализация молчать не позволяет-с. - А между прочим, лгать молча - это тонкое и весьма важное искусство. - Ну это ты у нас покровительница женщин, тебе лучше знать...
- Дежурный по небу? Вытри облака, пожалуйста. Только те, что справа подсвечены багровым, те не трогай. Это знамение. Просили до завтра не стирать.
- Как у нас с планом по борьбе с ересью? Почему ни одного раскаявшегося еретика за последний квартал, а? Спустя рукава работаем, да? - Так а где их взять, еретиков-то? Не монотеизм же. Один вот только и был: ходил и рассказывал людям про любовь, равенство, братство и какое-то ядерное разоружение. - Почему не занялись? - А его успели до нас... раскаять. Кулаками. Теперь ежевечерне приносит жертвы богу воинского искусства и богине мести из-за угла.
- Кто у нас сегодня дежурный по людям? А? Ну что молчите? Ладно, не хотите по-хорошему - будем по списку. Вчера у нас дежурил бог... бог... нет, богиня науки. Нареканий, кажется, не было... а нет, есть одно. Сколько раз тебе повторять: не торопи естественный ход событий, рано еще людям определенные интегралы знать! И неопределенные, впрочем, тоже. Дай Я им хотя бы с элементарной математикой разобраться. Из-за тебя вчера три оракула с ума сошли, пытаясь расшифровать твое послание. - Я не нарочно. Я больше не буду. - Бог обмана, опять ты?! Изыди! Я хотела сказать... я постараюсь. - Смотри у меня. А сегодня дежурный у нас... О черт, бог обмана. - О - что? - Не придираться к словам!!! У кого молнии в руке, тот и бог-громовержец. Поэтому до следующих выборов извольте мне не прекословить!
- И напоследок новость: в наших рядах пополнение. Поприветствуем! Проходите, проходите вперед, не стесняйтесь, здесь все свои... Итак, какова ваша специализация? - Я... я, к сожалению, не знаю. Мне не говорили. - Хм-м, ну постарайтесь вспомнить: когда вы в последний раз творили чудеса, в чем они заключались? С какими стихиями ты... вы работали? Прошу прощения, что сбиваюсь на ты, но мы здесь привыкли так, по-простому. - Да нет, все в порядке, можно на ты... Сейчас, сейчас... Я, помнится, в детстве любил превращать воду в вино. - Э, а бог виноделия у нас уже есть! Не верите мне - спросите богиню красноречия, они с ним старые приятели. - Тихо там! Выгоню с небес! Значит, будешь пока богом алхимии. А вообще, у тебя впереди - вечность, и в нашем дружном пантеоне у тебя будут практически неограниченные перспективы для профессионального и личностного роста! Ф-фу, еле выговорил. Короче, расти, развивайся... Ну, с формальностями вроде покончено. Все свободны!
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